the price of being a dumbass
Agonyopens door, "hey mom i'm home." mom: "hi, i want you to clean the living room up before are guest come by to visit." me: "uh sure..." cleans up everything and notices a pair of pants behind the chair. me: are these mine? oh well guess i'll take them. goes into his room and starts head banging to some music when all of the sudden he notices something green in the pants pocket. me: what the? checks pocket thats filled with cash. me:100,no 500, no way, 900 bucks. for some reason he took the wrong pair of pants who belonged to his mothers boyfriend at the time.
me: what should i do...........i'll call eric to see what he thinks about this. ring..ring..ring..
eric: uh hey cameron whats up?
me:dude your not going to believe what i found!
eric: what?
me: a shit load of cash.
eric: what like 50 bucks
me: no like...(counts money)..900!!!
eric:!!! dude where the hell did you get the money?!
me: from my moms boyfriend's pant by accident.
eric: dude you should put the m..
me: listen i was thinking we could split the money with you,me, and gustave and just go on a complete spending frenzy at bestbuy and gamestop and ect.
eric:AWESOME!!! But dude how are we going to pull that off?
me: uh..well..hmm (!) i got it. we will call up gustav to have his mother drop us off at bestbuy to get stuff then run to all the way to gamestop to get some crap there, then we will meet up at the location to meet his mother to pick us up. crash at your place to celebrate and have my dad to pick me up because he won't mind because he hates my mom.
eric:cool but won't gustav's mother notices all the stuff?
me: yeah, but she won't care because we done a lot of stuff before.
eric: true
me: hey i'll call you back gustav's on the other line
eric:k
gustav:yo whats up
me: (explains what happens)
gustav: dude that will totally work but first you need to hide the money
me: OH SH*T (stuff it under the bed)
gustav: hey i gotta go
me: see ya
NEXT DAY
moms bf: WHERE THE **** IS MY PANTS (looking around)
he walks home enters the house
me:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!( OH FUCK I'M DEAD NOW :0)
(EXPLAINS WHAT HAPPENS AND GIVES HIM BACK ALL OF THE MONEY ONLY TO FIND OUT THAT HE TRASHES MY ROOM,MY DS,MY DOOR, AND OTHER VALUABLES. THEN HE TELLS ME TO GO FUCK MYSELF AND KICKS ME OUT OF THE HOUSE. I START WALKING AND I SAW THESE TWO KIDS TALKING)
KID1: HEY LOOK AT THE MONEY I STOLE
KID2: WOW 20 BUCKS
KID1: LETS SPEND IT
(IRONY)
I walked all the way to top donut which is like a mile a way to my house while feeling empty inside.
me:......my life is ruined. why the fuck did i do this. i just gotta walk.
finally gets to top donut to call up his grandmother to pick him up. later picks him up and get a phone call with his mother lasting hours. his dad meets up only to make him feel beter and stop at taco bell
me: my life is ruined isn't it?
dad: no its not.
me: how can you say that.
dad: hey its rough now but youv delt with the toughest part but its not going to get easy to calm the storm. you know what i mean
me: i guess
dad: i have done worse, when i was your age i wanted to drive my dads grand torreno.
me: the grand torreno?
dad: yeah i tried driving it to the street and i pulled it off, then i opened the door then bam. a car flew by and smash the door.
me:!
dad: over 1,500 dollars worth of damage
me: no way, shit i thought i waz bad
dad: at least you gave all the money back so there is nothing to worry about so you will back with them.
me: yeah your right
phone rings...
dad:hello?
mom: there is another problem. there s 200 missing.
dad and me: no way
mom:and he wants back or he is kicking the both of us out of the house
me: BLACKMAIL
dad: no way, where is the 200 son?
me:uh...what..200
dad:there is 200 still missing
me: no clue!
dad: she says she is calling eric
me: he has nothing to do with this. besides why would he have the money
dad: i don't know.
1 WEEK LATER
so i ended up moving out with my mother because her bf never found the money which is bullshit. a few weeks gone by and me and my mother stop talking about it. she tells me that they might get back with each other but i don't know. i feel beter with out because i dealt with him for 10 years and he nevered care about me, actually he never spoke to me unless i got in trouble which he was a real dick about it. i couldn't be myself half the time because he would call me gay or your not like everyone else.my mom would defend him because he acts different around her when shes around. telling me that he cares and more then a father figure then my dad. BULLSHIT. but now everything is fine because i haven't seen him since the incident. now im feeling fine. thats why i haven't been on this site for a while now
In order to form a more perfect kiss, enable the mighty hug to promote
to whom we please but one kiss.
Article 1:
Statement of Love:
The Kiss
1.Kiss on the hand
I adore you
2. Kiss on the cheek
I just want to be friends
3. Kiss on the neck
I want you
4.Kiss on the lips
I love you
5.Kiss on the ears
I am just playing
6.Kiss anywhere else
lets not get carried away
7. Look in your eyes
kiss me
8.Playing with your hair
I can't live without you
9. Hand on your waist
I love you to much to let you go
Article 2:
The Three Steps
1. Girls:
If any guys gets fresh with you, slap him.
2. Guys
If any girl slaps you, her intentions are still good.
3.Guys & Girls
Close your eyes when kissing, it is rude to
stare.
Article 3:
The Commandments
1. Thou shall not squeeze too hard.
2.Thou shall not ask for a kiss, but take one.
3.Thou shall kiss at every opportunity.
* Remember *
A peach is a peach
A plum is a plum,
A kiss isn't a kiss
Without some tongue.
So open up your mouth
close your eyes, and give your tongue some exercise!!!
Here are a few reasons
why guys
like girls:
1. They will always smell good
even if its just shampoo
2. The way their heads always
find the right spot on our shoulder
3. How cute they look when they sleep
4. The ease in which they fit into our arms
5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world
6. How cute they are when they eat
7. The way they take hours to get dressed
but in the end it makes it all worth while
8.Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside
9. The way they look good no matter what they wear
10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think
she's the most beautiful thing on this earth
11. How cute they are when they argue
12. The way her hand always finds yours
13. The way they smile
14. The way you feel when you see their name
on the call ID after you just had a big fight
15. The way she says 'lets not fight anymore'
even though you know that an hour later....
16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them
17.The way they kiss you when you say 'I love you'
18.
Actually ... just the way they kiss you...
19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry
20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly
21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt
22. Then the way they apologize
when it does hurt. (even though
we don't admit it)!
23. The way they say 'I miss you'
24. The way you miss them
25. The way their tears make you want to
change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore..... Yet regardless if you love them,
hate them, wish they would die or
know that you would die without them ... it matters not. Because once in your life,
whatever they were to the world
they become everything to you.
When you look them in the eyes,
traveling to the depths of their souls
and you say a million things without trace of
a sound, you know that your own life
is inevitable consumed within
the rhythmic beatings of her very heart.
We love them for a million reasons,
No paper would do it justice.
It is a thing not of the mind
but of the heart. A feeling. Only felt.
*
This chain started in 1887.
It is a love chain letter.....................................
In an hour you are supposed to send it to 25 people.
It is easy, just look into chat rooms and find them.
Anyway, send it to 25 people in 1 hour..
Now here comes the fun part.
You then say the name of the person you like or love and then the person will say 'I love you,' or 'Will you go out with me?'
NO JOKE!!!!!
NOW
THE CONSEQUENCES
The consequences are:
If you break the chain letter,
you will have bad luck in future
relationships. If you don't
break the chain, then you will be a
happy camper!!!
CoNgRatULaTioNs!!
You have been chosen
to participate
in the
LONGEST
and the
LUCKIEST
chain letter on the Internet!
Once you read, this letter you must
IMMEDIATELY
(meaning within
the hour)
be sent to
25
people After
you send it,
make a wish
and it will come
TRUE
YOU MAY NOT WAIT
FOR A CERTAIN TIME
TO SEND
IT........ REMEMBER,
IT MUST BE SENT
TO
25
PEOPLE WITHIN 1 HOUR, OR
YOUR WISH WILL NOT COME
TRUE!
If THIS CHAIN LETTER IS
CONTINUED UNTIL
THE YEAR 2010, IT WILL BE PLACED IN
THE GUINNESS BOOK
OF WORLD RECORDS!
PLEASE CONTINUE IT NOW!!!
*WARNING*
IF YOU DO NOT PASS THIS ON,
SOMETHING BAD OR WORSE
WILL HAPPEN TO YOU:
NOTE*
THE MORE PEOPLE YOU SEND THIS TO
THE MORE LUCK YOU WILL HAVE IN YOUR LOVE LIFE.
IF YOU BREAK THE CHAIN LETTER
(IT HAS BEEN GOING SINCE 1887)
YOU WILL HAVE BAD LUCK
WITH YOUR LOVE LIFE
FOR SEVEN YEARS. THIS IS NO JOKE.
GOOD LUCK
--
Friendship isn't about how often you're together with them
But, how often you think about them
In this great city that has no end,
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone.
And I never see my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,
He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell.
And he rang mine but we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.
'Tomorrow' I say! 'I will call on Jim
Just to show that I'm thinking of him.'
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows.
Around the corner, yet miles away,
'Here's a telegram sir,' 'Jim died today.'
And that's what we get and deserve in the end.
Around the corner, a vanished friend.
Remember to always say what you mean.
If you love someone, tell them.
Don't be afraid to express yourself.
Reach out and tell someone what they mean to you.
Because when you decide that it is the right time it might
be too late.
Seize the day. Never have regrets.
And most importantly, stay close to your friends
and family, for they have helped
make you the person that you are today.
You must send this on in 3 hours after reading the letter
to 10 other people.
If you do this, you will receive unbelievably good luck.
*NOTE*
the more people that you send this to, the better
luck you will have.
--
Friendship isn't about how often you're together with them
But, how often you think about them
--
"To the world, you are just one person. But to one person, you are the world."
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--
Friendship isn't about how often you're together with them
But, how often you think about them
--
hate destroys the soul of anyone who tries to teach it
--
Yosh !! Nice to meet u guys in DA !! it's COOL !
--
Old mother Hupboard went to the cupboard to fetch her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over, Rover took over and gave her a bone of his own.
--
hate destroys the soul of anyone who tries to teach it
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